Existential Gift

"Happy Birthday!"
"Thank you."
"Akka, your birthday gift, is my existence."
"Oh no, can I return it?"

Thanksgiving

We all sometimes need to feel cared, supported and loved. Especially when you feel down or when the going gets tough.  That is when you can count on your sisters.  In the ocean of life, they are like dolphins, swimming in their own waters,  keeping afloat  their responsibilities,  diving into the depths of duty. But they have special senses and when they catch the distress call from a sibling, they reach out and  are there swimming beside you.  Supporting  you over rough tide. They have your back. It is a bonding for life.

Mother is caring and compassionate. Her love for her siblings, is unconditional. She raised three children with grace and poise Some parts of her can clearly be seen in my sisters.  Both of them have gone through some really trying times in the past years. Both have emerged stronger. I am  very proud of them. One has learnt to attune and get the better of situation while the other, though having to go through a lot of suffering, has seen her old passion resurface - her golden voice. Both have received their share of resilience and fortitude from father. Blessed to have  wonderful parents and the most amazing sisters. 

How can you teach

How can you teach the eyes to see only what they are supposed to,
When all they have, is the vision of what they are not to see

How can you teach the mind not to think of what is proscribed

When the mind minds not the transgressions in its trance

How can you teach a heart not to dance to a cadence

When there is no control over the symphony of its beats

How can you teach the memory not to overwhelm the thoughts

When  hijacking  the senses becomes the favoured occupation

How can you teach the self not to tear to pieces 

When it consoles to have someone to piece you back together.

Pressed, not suppressed

Memories bring back with them emotions, time that has passed, people, animates, inanimate objects and more memories. Memories brought with it a desire for the fragrance of flowers that had bloomed years ago. So, I brought down the book which held some flowers and petals in them, pressed for all the unnamed years.  Joy seemed a word mild to express the emotion that welled up within. Hands warmed with the breath that flowed from the pressed memories. Achromatic they appeared, losing their vibrant colours and fragrance to the years of perpetuation. With care, as I picked them up one by one and held them in my hand, with remedied vision from the same old pair of eyes, which was trying to  see what they had missed earlier, they seem to slowly come to life. Colour and fragrance slowly revived. Pressed they were, but alive, beautiful, warm and earnest. Contrition that I may have earlier failed to observe the apparent popped with pain.  The pressed objects hinted a protected preservation and continuity. Dead, but way alive and timeless. Grateful and redeemed that I had the chance to realise now. Thankful for a second grasp in life.

Silver Lining

The total lockdown mandated by the Corona crisis has led people to stand in long queues in front of the grocery store for essential commodities.  People equipped  with mask and lessons on social distancing stood quietly maintaining a distance of at least three feet between each other.  People were let in only one at a time for purchase.  As I stood in this queue revising my shopping list and planning   how I would go about picking up the vegetables and groceries I require from the store where each shelf can be recalled by memory by familiarity, so that I spend minimum time shopping, and giving some sense of relief to those waiting in the queue ; a thought sneaked in. The crisis has forced people to enforce discipline on themselves!  People stood in queues at mandated distance between them without having to be monitored.  Some helped out the elderly by offering to shop for them. Most amazing looked the fact that people, most usually always who are impatient which has now become the new normal way of behaviour, were somehow infected with Patience! Everyone had to wait at least forty five minutes for their turn into the store and this new infection caused people to  suffer patience quietly. Some of them also had this additional symptom of a calm face with a smile stuck on it.  This, as I observed, was spreading over to those exposed as the symptom started to show on them! 

Is Patience an intrinsic virtue in a human being which has been suppressed by other vices and habits, which surfaces only when faced with a crisis ?  So,  are we discovering good old patience again in us humans?  Is this the silver lining to the dark grey cloud?

Wait, will you?

'Wait'. We have heard this and uttered this many times, haven't we? And usually always, it is not very amusing.  This one was ...

I was trying to wake my son in the morning for school. He was too sleep heavy and refused to get out of bed with a 'Wait, Ma'. 

I said, 'Time and tide waits for none'.

He quipped, 'Chill Ma, I am none' !

Hanigavana - Nudi

Padagala saalu 

Illade kaalu

Aagade haaralu

Kelade koralu

Hidiyade beralu 

Aagide nanna neralu.

A Passing Thought

Courage is not about avoiding fear or the cause of it. Courage is neither inherent nor innate. When one knows what one fears is inescapable and cannot be transferred, it can instinctively thrust bravery from within.

Apparently Unapparent

There is a connect in spheres that are totally disconnected. Something concrete in the apparent abstract , like something real in a dream. A sentient recognition of something invisible, like the covert shadow of death right beside life. An inexpressible sensitivity that envelops  beyond reason.

A Thought

We are imprisoned, dictated and ruled by our thoughts. We are a representation of our thoughts. Our life morrors our thoughts. We listen to our thoughts and conduct our life in accordance. Sometimes we mistake our thoughts to be reality. Hazardously some of us get used to being victims of our own 

thoughts,and may even like being a victim without realising  it! 

Confidence is a thought. Happiness is a thought.  Let us stop being the architects of our own prisons and think positive!

Will we ever learn?

We take everything for granted.  The water we drink,  food we eat, the roof that shelters,  the clothes we wear,  the lifestyle that we think we are accustomed to,  beings and non-beings that we assume we own,  things that we share and do not share, the air we breathe, the sky above our heads and the land beneath our feet.

When will we ever learn?

We fight over frivolous nonissues, worry over nondescript  happenings or not happenings,  believe and try to control and plan everything to go in favour,  nurture a hedonistical egoistic self.

When will we ever learn?

There is an open lesson to learn from the souls who have faced a disaster and have lost everything they possessed excepting for humanitarian sensitivity,  a strong resolve to start all over again and  the courage to accept the reality gracefully.

But, will we ever learn?

When will we ever learn?

Butter from batter!

It was Saturday night and i was making dosas for appa's palahaara. From chotu vedanth came a commanding request " Perima nangu dose kodi"  and a list of all the shapes he desired. I made mickey mouse dosa , club house dosa, dinosaur dosa, truck dosa (  the front tyre of which went flat, nevertheless  accepted). He was seated on a high stool about 2 feet away and his eyes observed the happening on the tava  relentlessly. Finally i was drawing a butterfly with the batter when a "yuck" of disapproval stopped me. "Nange butterfly ishta illa !"  I quickly  changed it to a pointless star. When i set the dosa on his plate,  a butter reward was delivered with a smile and a twinkle - " e star nimge kodbeku". Butter from batter! 

Actuate ?

If you thought praising another child's effort would kindle a desire in your child to put in more effort, read the following conversation which quite took a tangent.

Ananya sits next to Samvit and her book landed into his bag one day. Looking at her neat handwriting and hoping for the obvious I said " Ananya's writing is very neat, take a look."

"Yes, it is very neat."

"You should see Sri Krishna's writing, it is neater.  And do you know, Achuta's writing is better than our teacher's.  Even Shreyas writes very neatly.  You should also see ....."

Living by example or living example??

Well, a piece of conversation that would help you come to a conclusion... hopefully..

"Pranav is so fat, but still he could not lift it Amma."
"Being fat does not mean one is healthy or strong..."
A couple of minutes is all it takes ...
"Correct, see, you are fat and that is why you cannot run fast ...."

Copy Colour Attribute

Another example of the boundless imagination of a child.

"Amma, tell me the colours I need to mix to get white colour".

"You cannot get white by mixing colours. You just have to use the white crayon."

"Oh"

"Acutally,  white light has all the colours mixed together in it.  When white light is split you can see all the 7 colours."

" Oh i know ,  that's how the rainbow is formed"

"Yes!"

"Oh Amma, now i get it.  Now i know why the clouds are white.  The rainbow colours are all mixing and giving the colour to the clouds!!"

The Saviour's Dilemma

The impeccability of a child's thought never ceases to amaze us.  I  read out an article from the newspaper to my son, which was an account of the heroic act of a 11year old boy who saved an 8 year old from drowning.  My six year old sat in pensive silence for a while and then observed,  " We should help someone who is drowning."  I said, " Yes, we should."   The culmination of this musings poured out. " If we know how to swim, it is ok.  Or else, we should first pray to God to save us and the drowning person, and then jump into the water ...."

Nitty Gritty

Having taken to playing Squash  recently, my husband got himself a new pair of sport shorts and half a dozen pairs of socks from Decathlon recently.   On inspecting the contents of the  shopping bag my daughter chuckled and her comment was as usual sharp. 

" Appa has more socks than the whole Indian Squash team put together !!"

Script Scrape

"Amma, our kannada ma'am taught us two new letters today"
"And they are?"
A couple of seconds of thinking and then ...
"The one that looks like a bum and the next one that looks like something coming out of it"
"!!!!"

The above conversation took place when we were waiting at the Tirumalai Eye Clinic for the eye checkup.  The smiles and laughs from the rest of the crowd waiting for their turn suggested that they figured  something out,  ... well .. irrespective of whether they were familiar with the kannada script or not.

Note the note

Morning, when i have to pack my daughters lunch box, it invariably turns out that her lunch boxes are still safe inside her school bag, unwashed. I would forget to ask her the previous night and she would never remember to give them for cleaning. Just telling her to give the boxes for cleaning the previous night did not change the situation. I had to then tell her that if she did not give the boxes for cleaning the previous night, she would have to wash the them herself and keep them ready for me to pack in the morning. This worked for two days. The boxes were given for cleaning the previous night. On the third day, when i had to pack the boxes, i realised that the boxes had not been given to me for cleaning the previous night. I checked her bag, then the sink, they were not there. I almost concluded that she must have left them in school, when i saw them piled up in a corner of the kitchen counter, with a note next to the unwashed boxes ...

Opposing opposite

My little one is being taught opposite words in kindergarten. I asked him to tell me a couple of them. He started to recall from memory .. ' hot - cold ' , ' far - near ' , 'up - down' ... it went on ... until he could recollect no more. His eyes wandered around until they came to rest on his dad ...' hair - no hair' ....